Common Challenges
On With Life's director of therapy, Dave Anders, discusses four of the common challenges faced by survivors and caregivers following a brain injury.
"Getting things done takes me so much longer than it used to."
For survivors, a slower processing speed is the hallmark of brain injury. While it is important for others to be patient with you, it is even more important for you to be patient with yourself. For caregivers, the urge to jump in and do the task for the survivor can be overwhelming. However, this simply teaches the survivor to depend on you. Rather than doing things for the survivor, coach them through tasks and offer options.
"I get angry and sad much more easily than I used to."
For survivors, understand that this is likely because your brain has difficulty regulating emotion. Think of it as a heater with a faulty thermostat. Things that may have frustrated you or angered you just a little before, may now cause you to become very angry or sad. Be aware that difficulty controlling emotions can also be a sign you are fatigued and need to take a break. For caregivers, it is often better to change the topic rather than dwell on what made them sad or angry (which may just worsen or prolong the emotion). Given the right approach, the emotion can be turned off as quickly as it turned on.
"Sometimes I can do certain things easily, other times the same things can be very difficult."
For survivors, there are a host of circumstances that can alter how easy or difficult a task is, including fatigue, distractions, the time of day and your frustration level. Remember that if you push yourself too hard, your performance may actually worsen. For caregivers, it is important to recognize that inconsistency in performance is almost never related to the survivor "not trying hard enough," and is more likely due to a factor out of the survivor's control.
"People always tell me I can't do things like drive or work. I get tired of all the 'can'ts' in my life."
For survivors, it is important to understand that sometimes the "can'ts" in life are helpful to maintain safety. Your challenge is to change how you think about those "can'ts." When you focus on the things people say that you "can't do," it quickly becomes difficult to maintain hope. Hope is like the gas that fills your tank. You need it to accomplish your goals, develop new strategies and move forward with life. The good news is that improvement after brain injury occurs over years, so it is difficult for anyone to know exactly what you will and won't accomplish in life. For caregivers, avoid framing the conversations in the negative (avoid the words can't, don't, shouldn't and no) and instead focus on how far the survivor has come and things they can do. Your job is both to help keep the survivor safe and fill up their tank with hope.